


I see sparks fly, whenever you smile

by SuchASeeweedBrain



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doctor Michael, Firefighter Alex, M/M, No Aliens, POV Alternating, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-12-22 20:40:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21082757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchASeeweedBrain/pseuds/SuchASeeweedBrain
Summary: ‘Ah, fancy Alex, don’t you?’ He snapped his head towards Liz.‘You know him?’‘Yeah, we went to high school together. He’s a great guy.’ Liz shrugged, but with a smirk on her face.‘Why haven’t you introduced me, what kind of best friend are you?’ Michael hissed at her, knocking his shoulder against hers.‘One that is about to get you laid.’ Liz said, raising her hand in a wave. ‘Hey Alex!’ The hot as fuck firefighter in question looked over at them and recognition sparked a warm smile that made Michael’s insides feel all gooey.





	1. Chapter 1: The Spark

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are, back for another Malex AU. I've become re-obsessed with firefighter/ hospital/ cop shows recently (gotta watch something while we wait for S2) and I couldn't let go of the idea of Firefighter Alex and Doctor Michael. This means that all I know about fighting fires and medicine is from what I've learned from these (totally accurate) TV shows. Now I will be making my first attempt at smut in this. Not quite in this chapter, but soon enough.  
I have a few things I want to do in this verse, but it's not going to be massive or super coherent per se.

‘It’s my favourite day of the year.’ Liz said as she settled against the wall next to Michael.

‘If I had known this was a yearly thing, I would have moved to Santa Fe sooner.’ Michael said, and Liz laughed.

‘Well that’s why we’ve got to keep this on the DL. Otherwise we’d lose our front row seats to _this_.’ She motioned at the scene in front of them. There were at least twenty five firefighters on the grass behind the hospital. They were here for a “freshening up” of their medical training. It was partially an excuse to keep the ties between the first responders and the hospital good, and partially actual training. But, because this was New Mexico and it was hot as fuck, all of the firefighters had taken off their heavy fire-proof overcoats and most of them were now left in either formfitting t-shirts or tank tops.

‘Which one are you watching?’ He asked Liz, she hummed thoughtfully.

‘That one.’ She pointed at a tall guy with messy brown, short cropped curls. ‘Lieutenant Evans. He’s a dream.’ She fanned herself with her hand. ‘What about you?’ Michael didn’t have to think about it for very long.

‘Him.’ Michael had been….appreciating the man’s form for the last fifteen minutes. Sure he only had _one_ thirty minute break, and he was supposed to use it to eat, but how could he resist? The man was gorgeous. All glowing, tanned skin, biceps for _days_, warm eyes and the softest looking hair. Cheekbones, just _cheekbones_. Stubble on a jawline Michael wanted to _lick_ and-

‘Ah, fancy Alex, don’t you?’ He snapped his head towards Liz.

‘You _know_ him?’

‘Yeah, we went to high school together. He’s a great guy.’ Liz shrugged, but with a smirk on her face.

‘Why haven’t you introduced me, what kind of best friend are you?’ Michael hissed at her, knocking his shoulder against hers.

‘One that is about to get you _laid_.’ Liz said, raising her hand in a wave. ‘Hey Alex!’ The hot as fuck firefighter in question looked over at them and recognition sparked a warm smile that made Michael’s insides feel all gooey.

‘Liz.’ _Alex _smiled as he jogged away from his group, towards them. Michael was suddenly extremely aware of his messy hair, the dark circles under his eyes and the questionable substance on his scrubs. Alex’s eyes flickered towards him.

‘Hey, having a good time?’ Liz asked. Jesus Christ he was only wearing a white tank top and Michael would swear he could see the outline of his abs.

‘Yeah, I always enjoy coming to these.’ Alex said with a bright smile, his eyes darted towards Michael again. They were beautiful.

‘Yeah, I still think you should have gone to med school with me, but you wanted to go be a hero.’ Liz teased. Alex rolled his eyes.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend, Liz?’ Alex asked, making a face at Liz that Michael couldn’t quite place.

‘But of course.’ She smiled sweetly at him. ‘Alex, this is our new resident, doctor Michael Guerin. Michael, this is Lieutenant Alex Manes.’ Michael managed to discreetly wipe his hand on his pants before shaking the Lieutenants hand. His grip was firm and his hands were nice and warm and just rough enough and-

‘Hi, nice to meet you.’ Alex said with a warm smile. Jeez this guy was sunshine personified, wasn’t he?

‘Nice to meet you too.’ Michael said. He let go of Alex’s hand with a start, realizing he was still holding on to it. Alex cleared his throat, exchanging another look with Liz.

‘Michael was just telling me how much he… admires what you do.’ Liz said, still with that sweet smile on her face. Michael widened his eyes at her.

‘Oh, that’s very nice of you.’ Alex said smiling nervously at Michael. At least Michael didn’t seem to be the only one that felt like they were fifteen again.

‘I’m going to go back inside. Alex, Michael, you both owe me.’ Liz said, pointing firmly at the Lieutenant and then at Michael before heading inside with a swing in her step. Michael’s eyes darted from her to Alex and back.

‘So, Lieutenant, how long have you been a fire fighter?’

‘Oh, please, call me Alex.’ _Alex_ said, his fingers were playing with one of the pockets on his pants.

‘Okay, Alex.’

‘Uh, about three years.’ Alex nodded. ‘Before that I was in the Air Force.’

‘Wow, a hero through and through, huh?’ Michael asked. Man, he couldn’t even imagine. Coming home from a warzone only to start running into burning buildings.

‘My mom says it’s because I want to die young and pretty.’ Michael blinked at him, both stunned and slightly horrified. ‘Sorry, that’s dark.’ Alex said with a nervous laugh.

‘Yeah.’ Michael said. ‘That seems more like a fifth date conversation.’

‘A _fifth_ date conversation?’

‘Uh yeah.’ Come on Michael, the door was wide open. ‘So I guess we should go on a first date, right?’ He was kind of terrified to look at Alex, but he made himself do it anyways. Alex smiled.

‘That seems like a good start, yeah.’ Alex pressed his lips together. ‘You should give me your phone number.’ Michael immediately scrambled to find his phone. He realized where he’d left it.

‘Ah shit. It’s in my locker.’ Michael could already hear Alex backing out, what kind of person didn’t have their phone on them? If this cost him his date with the hottest man on the planet he was going to cry-

‘Alright, you’ll just have to give me yours.’ Alex’s hand disappeared into one of his many pockets and then handed Michael the device. Oh.

‘Right, okay.’ He could do this. He could perform some really complicated surgeries without his hands shaking, why the fuck were they shaking now? He managed to get his number into Alex’s contacts. ‘There you go.’ Michael handed the phone back to him. Their fingers brushed as Alex accepted the phone and it was like a goddamn cliché from a romance novel. Michael laughed nervously.

‘Thanks, I’ll text you when my shift ends.’ Alex promised.

‘Okay, yeah. Cool.’ Cool? Michael wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. ‘I should head back inside.’ Michael said, even though he didn’t actually want to leave.

‘Yeah, of course. I should head back to my training.’ Alex motioned over his shoulder, starting to back up. ‘I’ll talk to you soon.’

‘Yeah, talk to you soon.’ Michael agreed, kicking himself into motion.

He shouldn’t have been surprised that Liz was waiting for him at the nurses station with Kyle.

‘And, and, and?’ Liz asked, leaning on the desk. Kyle turned to him and smirked.

‘Did you get a date with the hot firefighter?’ He asked, warm brown eyes looking up at him.

‘Yeah.’ Michael admitted, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.

‘Yes!’ Liz punched the air and did a little dance. Michael immediately tried to get her to stop.

‘Liz. Ortecho. Stop it.’ Michael shushed. ‘For fucks sake Liz, people are _staring_.’ She just laughed happily and danced out of his reach. She turned to an elderly couple that was looking at her with amused smiles.

‘Sorry, ma’am, sir, but my colleague here got a date with a _very_ handsome firefighter.’ Liz said, smirking at Michael over her shoulder as she confided in the two complete strangers. The lady laughed heartily.

‘Oh boy, that _is_ something to celebrate.’ She nodded, patting her husband’s arm. ‘My Oliver was a firefighter too.’ The man nodded, with a similar smile on his face. Michael felt like his cheeks would never stop burning.

‘I’m going to find some clean scrubs.’ Michael fled from the station, followed by Liz’s laughter.

‘Twenty-nine year old male firefighter.’ The paramedic pushing the stretcher into the ER said as Michael looked up. ‘Had a beam hit his hands, suspected fracture in the wrist.’ Michael ignored the swoop of “let it not be Alex”. He approached the small group.

‘Put him in bay 3, please.’ He realized there was a second firefighter walking in with them. One he recognized. ‘Oh, hey Alex.’ Alex looked at him and his expression morphed from an annoyed one into a warm smile.

‘Michael, hi.’

‘Are you hurt?’ He asked.

‘No, I’m just here to make sure _he_ doesn’t try to run away. Again.’ He motioned towards the other firefighter on the stretcher. He did look like this was the last place he wanted to be. Michael realized he recognized him too. It was the one Liz had been staring at. Lieutenant Evans.

‘Ah, alright. Stubborn, huh?’

‘Oh yes.’ Alex said with a tired sigh. Michael entered the bay just as the paramedics were transferring Evans to the hospital bed. He seemed to be grumbling under his breath.

‘Thanks guys.’ Michael said to the paramedics as they headed back out.

‘Good luck with this one.’ Michael tried to suppress a smile at the paramedic’s murmured words.

‘Alright Lieutenant Evans?’ Michael started. The firefighter, who was pouting like a toddler, nodded. ‘Let’s take a look at that wrist.’

‘I’m fine.’ Evans grumbled.

‘You’re not fine, stop it with that.’ Alex said from behind Michael. He’d settled with his shoulder against the doorframe. ‘We’re not leaving until the doctor says you can, so stop pouting and let him do his job.’

‘You can’t tell me what to do.’ Evans pouted some more. Alex raised his eyebrows.

‘I will tackle you if you try to leave, how about that?’ Evans seemed tempted to stick out his tongue at Alex. Michael decided it was time to step in.

‘Alright Lieutenant if you could let me see your arm.’ Michael held out his hands. Evans placed his hurt arm into them with a sigh.

Oh yeah, that was broken. There was a nasty bump on the right side of his left wrist. Probably a fracture in the radius.

‘We’re going to get you an x-ray on this, but in my experience, this is probably broken.’ Evans sighed while Alex made a noise of triumph. Like he was saying “I told you so” without actually saying it. ‘I’m going to get you a form you’ll need to fill in and I’ll schedule a x-ray for you.’

‘Yeah, alright.’ Evans said, leaning back in the bed and sighing deeply. What a drama queen. Michael suppressed another smile and headed out of the room. Alex moved to the side and then followed him to the nurses station. Liz smiled widely at him.

‘Hey Alex.’ She rounded the counter and wrapped Alex up in a hug as Michael went and grabbed their basic personal data form. Michael grabbed a clipboard and a pen and headed over to Liz.

‘Liz, my dear friend. I have a gift for you.’ He said and he handed her the board. She narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Michael Guerin, I am not your assistant.’

‘What? No, I know that. Jesus no. Just look in bay 3 for a second.’ He gently moved her so she could see the firefighter in the hospital bed. ‘It’s the one you’ve been pining over.’ He explained.

‘Michael Guerin, have I mentioned I love you?’ Liz immediately changed her tone.

‘Not today.’ Michael shrugged. Liz punched him in the upper arm and then headed for bay 3. ‘You’re welcome.’ Michael called after her. She flipped him off before heading into the room. Alex made a noise of amusement.

‘So, is this you setting her up?’ Alex asked.

‘I owed her.’ Michael shrugged, he made sure to request the x-ray for the Lieutenant through the computer system.

‘For what?’

‘Introducing me to you.’ Alex smiled that soft smile Michael adored and had missed.

‘We still haven’t gone on that date.’ Alex said and Michael flinched.

‘Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. It’s been pretty crazy here this last week.’ It had been insanely busy, not one, but two of their lead doctors and several nurses were home with a serious case of the flu and Michael had worked shift after shift trying to cover for them. Any time he had off was spend sleeping.

‘Yeah, I know, you don’t have to apologize.’ They had been texting, and it had been really nice. It allowed him to get to know Alex without the temptation to jump him and just kiss the shit out of him. That temptation was very much there right now though.

‘How about this. Tomorrow, doctor Valenti is supposed to be back. I bet I can get off around six. If you’re free we could do dinner at seven?’ Michael proposed. Alex’s smile brightened.

‘Yeah, I’m off tomorrow, I’ve got some errands to run, but I can definitely do dinner.’ Alex smiled, he’d set his elbows on the counter and Michael was attempting not to get utterly distracted by his beauty.

‘Awesome. Did you want to go out?’

‘We could, I can also cook something. We could eat at my place?’ Alex said hesitantly. Michael didn’t feel any hesitation whatsoever.

‘Yeah that be awesome.’ He knew the insinuations of going directly to Alex’s place, but they were both adults and Michael certainly knew what he wanted, so why not? Alex smiled again, he wet his lips and then dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. That was just unfair. Michael was still watching Alex’s mouth when he spoke up.

‘Alright, I will add grocery shopping to my list. Anything you’re allergic to or that you just don’t like?’ Alex asked, smirking at Michael like he knew exactly what he was doing.

‘Nope. I’ll eat anything.’

‘Good.’ Alex said. ‘Now, I don’t think Max is going anywhere, so I should probably head back to the station.’ Michael ignored the pang of disappointment. He leaned over to check on Liz and Max. Yeah, he looked like his attitude about being here had done a one-eighty.

‘Alright, yeah.’ Michael nodded. ‘So, tomorrow.’

‘Yeah, tomorrow.’

‘I’ll text you once I leave here.’

‘And I’ll text you my address.’ Alex waved at him over his shoulder as he left. Michael waved back and watched him leave.

Liz came from bay 3 five minutes later.

‘Guess who’s got a dinner date?’ She grinned. Michael raised his hand.

‘Me?’

‘Really? You two are finally going out?’ Liz grinned. ‘Where are you going?’

‘His place.’ Michael smirked, even though his cheeks felt a little hot. Liz’s eyes widened.

‘Damn Michael, not wasting time huh?’ She wiggled her eyebrows.

‘Shut up.’ He whined. ‘I know okay, but we’re adults and I would like to have sex at some point this week. Who knows how long it’s going to be before we both have time to go on another date.’ Liz laughed and Maria, who just came over from bay 6, made a face.

‘What’s going on?’

‘Michael is finally going on that date with Alex, they’re having dinner at Alex’s place.’ Liz explained.

‘Ah, gonna try to have sex for the first time in months, right?’

‘Yes!’ Suddenly Michael realized what she said. ‘Hey! I have sex.’ Maria made a face at him.

‘Guerin, first of all, keep your voice down, second, no you don’t. You’ve been as hopelessly single as we’ve been.’ Maria motioned between her and Liz. Liz pressed her lips together. Maria glanced at her and then fully turned to Liz. ‘No.’

‘I’ve got a date with the other hot firefighter.’ Liz admitted and Maria groaned loudly.

‘Are you kidding me? Where’s _my_ hot firefighter?’ Maria whined. Liz and Michael both laughed as Maria pouted.

He honestly didn’t think anything would be able to sour his mood today. He dealt with a screaming, crying three year old that had fallen off the bed and hit her head without complaint. He dealt with the loudly swearing teenager that had dislocated his shoulder doing something stupid with a grace and patience he didn’t think he normally had. He was the model replacement ER doctor for the rest of his shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! The first introduction to the boys in this world. Next time, Malex go on that date!
> 
> If there's anything specific you'd like to see in this verse, let me know and I'll see what I can do. You can either leave a comment or hit me up on my Tumblr: Daffietjuh
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	2. Chapter 2: The First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Alex meet up for their date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, there it is, my first ever attempt at smut. I have to give a shout out to el_gilliath for helping me out with this! You're the best!

‘I’m serious, Izzy, what the fuck do I cook?’ Alex whined. On the other end of the line, Isobel sighed.

‘I swear, you are like, five years old.’ They’d been on the phone for five minutes already and she was clearly tired of his indecisiveness.

‘I just want this to be good.’ Alex said with a nervous sigh. He couldn’t see her, but he could hear the fond expression on her face.

‘I know that, but it’s not the food, he’s coming for you, hopefully literally.’ She added with an audible smirk. Alex rolled his eyes.

‘I’m going to hang up now.’ He said with a sigh. ‘Bye Is.’

‘Bye Alex. Text me if you freak out again.’

‘Got it.’ Alex agreed before he hung up.

He sighed into the silence of his apartment. He’d been second guessing everything he did, all day. This was supposed to be his day off. A day to relax, sleep in, take it easy and then have a lovely dinner with hotter-than-the-sun-doctor Michael. However, he’d forgotten to turn off his alarm, so it went off at six. Then he’d spilled coffee all over himself because he’d startled when his neighbour’s car backfired. He proceeded to burn his fingers on the toaster because they were shaking and then he realized he had no idea what to cook for his date.

If his morning was any indication, this date was going to be a disaster.

He really hoped it wasn’t. He liked Michael. A lot. He wasn’t just gorgeous, but he was also funny and kind and a doctor for fucks sakes. He’d noticed him that first day, leaning back against the wall. He’d looked like he’d been working nonstop for a week, and yet Alex kept wanting to look at him. There was something about the golden halo of curls that kept drawing Alex’s eyes to him. 

‘Shit.’ Alex cursed into the quiet apartment. However badly his day had started, it was going to end now. He was going to make something simple and delicious, they were going to have a good time, and then, well, he really hoped they could get to some extracurricular activities.

But first, he had grocery shopping to do.

When he got back from the market, he felt a little better. Nothing horrible had happened on his way there, or in the market or on his way back. He’d gone through an hour without anything bad happening. Progress.

Michael texted him around five that he’d be able to leave in an hour, he’d be at Alex’s at around seven. It send a ridiculous swoop of nerves mixed with excitement through Alex’s system.

He made himself take his time. He got dressed in black jeans and a soft dark grey t-shirt. He wasn’t trying to look like his teenage emo self, but the dark colours made him feel safe and the shirt was one of his favourites. Plus, he was in his own house, he didn’t need to dress up that much right? Oh god. Should he wear a button up? Would Michael be wearing a button up? Was a simple shirt too casual? Should he wear socks? Was it weird to be barefoot when you were having someone over? Why did no one ever teach him this? Forget Math, they should have classes about dating etiquette in high school.

He texted Isobel. She told him to wear something that made him feel comfortable, but that didn’t have holes in it. Alex told her she wasn’t being helpful, even though she was. He decided to stick with his first choice. He did his hair, and started up dinner when Michael texted him he was on his way.

The swoop of butterflies in his stomach when there was a knock at his door made him take a deep breath before calling out.

‘Coming!’ He was immediately reminded of Isobel’s joke from earlier and he flinched at himself. He hurried to the door and unlocked and opened it. He was going to open with “Hello!” but when he took one look at Michael he stuttered to a halt, the words dying on his tongue. He looked amazing, soft and warm and freshly showered. Cosy in his shirt and flannel with his curls all over the place. Golden. Michael was golden.

‘Hi.’ Michael said with a smile, eyes flickering down Alex’s body.

‘Hey.’ Alex said, stepping aside to let Michael in. ‘You can hang your coat there. I need to make sure the food doesn’t burn.’ It was only half an excuse, he needed a second to breathe and find his chill.

‘Alright.’ Michael said as Alex fled to the kitchen. The timer went off just as Alex reached the stove. Perfect timing. He turned everything off.

‘Do you want something to drink?’ Alex called over his shoulder. ‘I’ve got beer.’ He started to put the creamy pasta on two plates.

‘Beer would be nice.’ Michael’s voice sounded from what Alex thought was the entrance to the kitchen. He turned, and sure enough, there was Michael. He’d taken his jacket and shoes off and he was wiggling his toes against the wooden floor. Alex pressed his lips together, trying not to smile too hard. He was adorable.

‘Would you grab them? They’re in the fridge.’ He figured giving Michael something to do might ease his nerves.

‘Sure.’ Michael said with a grateful smile. They passed by each other in the kitchen and Alex had to fight to keep his breathing calm. He took the plates to the living room table. He set them down on opposite sides of the dark wooden surface.

He could hear the sound of two bottles being opened in the kitchen and footsteps approaching.

‘Alright.’ Alex said. He was actually a little proud of himself. The apartment looked clean, but lived in. The food looked good. He felt better.

‘Here you go.’ Michael said, handing Alex one of the beers.

‘Thank you.’ Alex accepted it and sat down, motioning for Michael to do the same. ‘It’s a pretty basic pasta with cream sauce, there’s spring union in there, leeks, mushrooms and chicken.’

‘Sounds great.’ Michael smiled. They both took their first bite. Alex kept his eyes firmly on Michael, making sure he’d catch his honest reaction. If he hated it, Alex had back-up frozen pizzas. However, Michael’s eyes closed and the look on his face was one Alex had been imagining, just not quite in this scenario. It was more of a bedroom look. His tongue poked out to get a little sauce that was left on his lip and Alex felt the heat rise in his cheeks. Good god, how was he going to make it through this dinner? He refused to have sex on his table, he liked this table, no, dinner would have to be eaten first.

‘Good?’

‘Holy shit Alex, it’s awesome.’ Michael said, his eyes fluttering open. ‘Do you cook a lot?’

‘I never really used to, you don’t really have to in the army, but at the firehouse we take turns cooking, so I learned.’ Alex shrugged. It was something he found he really enjoyed. There was something comforting about the whole thing. The process of taking all of these ingredients and turning them into something delicious (most of the time) was therapeutic.

‘That’s really cool.’ Michael said, smiling warmly at him before taking another bite.

‘How was your shift? Anything interesting?’ Alex asked. Michael hummed.

‘Yeah, fifteen year old with a broken arm. Had to repair that in surgery.’ Michael waved his fork around like it was every day business. It probably was, to him.

‘You’re in orthopedics, right?’ Alex was pretty sure he’d heard Liz say that at some point.

‘Yeah, I am. Bone doctor.’ Alex snorted, a piece of pasta lodging itself in his throat for a second as he coughed. Tears sprung into his eyes as he grabbed for his beer. ‘Ah shit, sorry. I’ll get you some water.’ Michael disappeared from sight as Alex tried to remember how to take calm breaths. Michael reappeared with a glass of water pretty quickly.

‘Thanks.’ Alex managed. Michael set a concerned hand on his shoulder as Alex took slow sips of the water, allowing his body to recover from its momentary panic.

‘You good?’ Michael asked as Alex seemed to have his breathing under control again.

‘Yeah, sorry. Maybe just don’t talk about “bones” when I’ve got pasta in my mouth.’ Alex said with a smirk. Michael, who had moved back to his chair seemed to realize what he’d said. He blushed.

‘Ah shit. I didn’t even realize. Sorry.’

‘It’s fine. It was funny, actually, I just wasn’t expecting it.’

‘This is going great, first date and I almost have to do the Heimlich on you.’ Alex laughed softly. Wiping under his eyes to catch any tears that had escaped.

‘That _would_ be a bonding experience.’ Alex said, Michael hummed in agreement. ‘So, Kyle was back today?’ Michael blinked at him.

‘Wait, you know Kyle?’ Michael asked. ‘You know Liz, you know Maria and now you know Kyle? Why am I the only one in that damn hospital that had never met you?’

‘Well, I hadn’t been in there in a while, which I would say is a good thing.’ Alex shrugged.

‘Well yeah, of course that’s a good thing. I just- I don’t know.’ Michael seemed unsure of what he was trying to say exactly, so Alex figured he’d help him out.

‘I met Kyle when I dislocated my shoulder in my first week.’ Alex explained.

‘You dislocated your shoulder in your first week?’ Michael sounded like he couldn’t quite believe it.

‘Yeah. I was, get this, getting a cat from a tree, because I was the rookie, and it all went fine until I was heading down on the ladder and suddenly the cat decided it had enough off me and it tried to leap out of my hand, so I grabbed it with two, and then I realized that meant I had no hands on the ladder. Isobel said I looked like a damn cartoon character. So I dropped and dislocated my shoulder. The cat was fine though.’ Alex assured him and that got a bark of laughter out of Michael.

‘Jeez, great way to start your career somewhere.’ Michael said with a sparkle in his eyes. Alex had trouble looking away.

‘Yeah.’ Alex laughed, it hadn’t been the best way to introduce himself to his colleagues, although it had gotten him much closer with Isobel. ‘Kyle was on an ER shift and he put my shoulder back, that’s how we met.’ Michael nodded. ‘So what brought you to Santa Fe?’ Alex had deliberately not asked that question yet. 

‘My fellowship. I did my internship in Chicago, but it was fucking freezing there, so when they told me I could do my ortho fellowship here, I jumped on the opportunity.’ Michael explained.

‘So why orthopedics?’ Alex asked. He was curious about this, it didn’t necessarily seem like something a child would dream of being.

‘Well, one of the most common things we have to operate on are broken bones. Whether it’s arms, legs, wrists, collarbones, we get them every day and you doing your job right can make a huge difference in how people will be able to use their limbs and such from then on. We see so many different things, different ways to break bones and sometimes it’s like a jigsaw puzzle. A bloody, bony jigsaw puzzle.’ Even though it may not have been the most conventional dinner topic, they were both in professions where that sort of talk was pretty normal.

‘Interesting. Max was pretty happy he didn’t need an operation though.’ Alex said. ‘Although he said that setting it by hand was really uncomfortable.’ Michael laughed.

‘Well yeah duh, you’re literally pushing a bone back in place with your bare hands. He’s lucky Liz likes him and she gave him a local anaesthetic, otherwise it would have hurt a lot more.’ Michael said with a grin. ‘Liz said you two met in high school?’

‘Yeah, we’re both from this little town called Roswell, we grew up there together, but we didn’t really become friends until high school. She tried to convince me to come to med school with her, but all the men in my family had been in the Air Force, so I didn’t want to be the only one not to go.’ It wasn’t a lie, per se, he just wasn’t immediately telling Michael the whole story of his asshole, abusive dad, absent mom and the pressure he’d been under to enlist. Part of him _had_ wanted to enlist. Even if it was just to prove he wasn’t a coward, he wasn’t weak. To prove he could fight and survive.

‘What-‘ Michael started, but then it looked like he changed his mind. ‘Never mind, that’s more of a fifth date question.’ Alex laughed.

‘We’re really putting a lot on that fifth date, huh?’ Michael’s smile was warm and he looked hopeful in a way that made Alex’s stomach feel funny. It was really nice that they both seemed to agree that this wasn’t just a one off thing.

It was like the air had gotten heavier over the last few minutes. Alex couldn’t stop stealing glances as Michael, and he could feel Michael’s eyes on him as well. The conversation had flown so easily and they seemed to get along so well, it was like his body was just screaming at him to get closer. To _do something_. Anything. Anything but let Michael walk out the door in a few minutes. The only sound in the kitchen was the sound of plates being put in the dishwasher and their breathing.

When they’d loaded the last of the dishes in Alex closed the dishwasher and straightened up.

‘So…’ Michael said into the silence.

‘Thanks for your help with that.’ Alex said, he wasn’t trying to start a “good to see you, time to go” conversation, but he didn’t know what else to say.

‘No problem. You cooked, it’s the least I can do.’ Michael ran his palms along the side of his jeans in a nervous gesture. He hadn’t seemed nervous since they sat down for dinner, but now they seemed to have swooped in again. Not that Alex wasn’t feeling them, he most certainly was. He’d been here before. Well, not in this exact situation, he’d never invited someone to his place for a first date, and he’d never liked someone as instantly as he liked Michael, but still, he’d been at that end-of-date point before. He had two options. One: Give in to his nerves and let Michael leave. Two: Man the fuck up and kiss him. Alex had never been one to back down from a challenge.

‘Can I-‘

‘I want-‘

They spoke at the same time. It pulled a soft laugh from Alex.

‘You go first.’ Michael said. Alex took a deep breath.

‘I really want to kiss you.’ He said, forcing himself to look Michael in the eyes as he said it. The smile that spread over Michael’s face nearly took his breath away.

‘Come here.’ Michael said and who was Alex to deny him? Stepping into Michael’s space felt terrifyingly _right_. Alex wet his lips as he set a hand on Michael’s hip. Michael’s eyes darted down to his mouth.

‘Yeah?’ He said softly. Michael’s eyes flickered down again.

‘Dear god, you’re beautiful.’ Michael whispered and Alex felt his cheeks grow warmer. He wasn’t even sure what to say to that. Luckily, Michael kissed him before things got awkward.

Alex’s hand tightened on Michael’s hip when their lips connected. It was ridiculous, but the spark low in his stomach was unlike anything he’d felt before. Michael slid his hands up Alex’s chest, pushing him backwards into the counter, so Alex did what he’d wanted to do since he’d first seen him. He slid his free hand over Michael’s jaw and into his hair. The curls were so soft and the contrast between that and Michael biting at his bottom lip was enough to startle a moan out of Alex. He could feel Michael smirk against his mouth.

Two could play that game. Alex tightened his fingers around Michael’s curls and tugged just a little, he moved his mouth away from Michael’s lips, over his cheek and down to his neck. When he brushed his lips over the spot behind Michael’s ear, the breathy sound told him he’d hit the jackpot. So he kissed it and then scraped his teeth over the skin. Michael _whined_, which caused Alex to laugh into his neck.

‘Good?’ He asked. He knew plenty about fire, it was his job. But the heat that Michael seemed to radiate was unlike any fire Alex knew of.

‘Yes, get back here.’ Michael tugged on Alex’s hair, bringing his mouth back to Michael’s.

When their tongues first brushed together, Alex figured it was time to move things along. He, begrudgingly, moved his hand from Michael’s hair and to the bottom of his shirt. He tugged on it impatiently when Michael didn’t seem to get the memo right away. Michael made an annoyed sound and tried to get some space between them.

Turns out, trying to take a shirt off with your eyes closed, attached at the mouth wasn’t the best idea. Alex (and Michael) had forgotten he was wearing a flannel over his shirt. So he ended up tangled in the two garments. Alex didn’t think he’d ever laughed that hard while trying to having sex before.

Alex was still giggling when Michael managed to free himself from his clothes, his cheeks were bright red and he looked slightly mortified.

‘That could have gone more smoothly.’ Alex giggled.

‘Stop laughing at me.’ Michael whined.

‘If it means anything, I still think you’re hot.’ Alex tried to reassure him, stepping closer and sliding his hands up Michael’s now bare chest. He wasn’t overly muscular, but you could tell he was fit. Wide shoulders and a flat stomach. He looked like someone who worked hard, not necessarily someone who worked out. ‘Where were we?’ Alex asked, batting his lashes at Michael in the way that always worked.

Sure enough, Michael’s breath did something funny and his eyes dropped to Alex’s mouth. It was like their momentary break had slowed them down a little. The initial red hot feeling had been replaced by a slow simmering heat in his stomach. It was kind of nice.

Pulling Michael back towards him for another deep, toe-curling kiss was the easiest decision of the day. Sliding his hands back down, feeling the soft hairs under his fingers, Alex allowed his hands to trail along Michael’s sides and to the small of his back. Alex traced his fingers along the edge of Michael’s jeans. Like a question. Michael nipping at his bottom lip seemed like a yes, so Alex slipped his fingers into Michael’s jeans, allowing him to trace over the swell of Michael’s ass.

Meanwhile, Michael’s hands had crept under Alex’s shirt. They were now working his shirt up, so Alex removed his hands from Michael and lifted them over his head, letting Michael take off his shirt. He tossed it to the side, Alex didn’t really care where. Michael grabbed the front of Alex’s jeans to pull him back into him. That brought his fingers really close to where Alex wanted them to be. He wasn’t seventeen anymore and it usually took him a minute to get properly worked up, but Michael’s hands on him seemed to do the trick just fine.

‘Bedroom?’ Michael asked as they parted for air.

‘Yeah, bedroom.’ Alex confirmed. He grabbed Michael’s hand and started dragging him to his room. It was dark in there, but Alex was too distracted to turn on the lights. He just pulled Michael into him and immediately trailed his hands down Michael’s chest to the front of his jeans. His hands paused on the button, but Michael made an impatient noise.

‘Listen, I would let you do anything to me right now, stop asking for permission.’ Alex tried to hide his shiver, but he didn’t succeed very well.

‘Consent is sexy though.’ Alex tried to sound firm and maybe a little flirty, but it came out breathless and slightly wrecked. Michael’s hands landed over Alex’s.

‘Touch me.’ He said, and who was Alex to deny him?

So he opened Michael’s jeans and considered just sliding his hand in, but he suddenly had an idea that he liked much better. He turned them around and moved Michael backwards towards the bed, kissing him deeply. He could feel when the back of Michael’s knees hit the bed, Alex pushed him down on it with a smirk. He leaned over to turn on one of the bedside lamps, if he was doing this, he wanted to see Michael.

‘Off.’ He said, tugging at Michael’s open jeans. He could see the edge of black boxer briefs, he was about ready to see what was under them. Michael wiggled out of his jeans, making Alex snicker a little. ‘Eager?’

‘You’re standing over there looking like that, hell yeah I’m eager.’ Michael tossed his jeans to the side, leaning back on his elbows as he waved his hand up and down at Alex. Alex made sure to scrape his teeth over his bottom lip as he lowered himself onto his knees in front of Michael. Michael groaned and dropped his head back. It made Alex irrationally happy.

He had a really nice view as he slid his hands up Michael’s bare thighs, his curls were a mess because Alex kept running his hands through them. He could see Michael’s cock was hard in his boxers. He hooked his fingers around the elastic of Michael’s underwear and tugged them down. Michael raised his hips to help him along. Michael’s cock sprung free and it was about as pretty as Michael was. Fitting, he supposed.

He spit in his hand, a little gross, but not worse than a dry hand on your dick. If Michael minded, he sure as hell didn’t show it. Alex wrapped his hand around him and started jerking him off slowly. Michael was trying to take slow, deep breaths, but his rhythm hitched every time Alex would swipe his thumb over the head or curled his wrist _just_ right.

When Alex took him in his mouth, Michael cursed from between clenches teeth.

‘Jesus fucking Christ, Alex. Give a guy a warning.’ He managed, even though his voice cracked in the middle of his sentence. Alex raised an eyebrow at him, dragging his tongue along the underside of Michael’s cock as he worked his way up.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ He asked, hovering over him.

‘_No_. If you stop I might cry.’ Alex chuckled before getting back into it. He kept one hand on Michael’s hip, the other worked over whatever he couldn’t reach with his mouth. He was heavy on Alex’s tongue and the salty taste was one he’d kind of missed. Because he hadn’t done this in a while he eased himself back into it, going lower and lower with each bop of his head. Michael didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. He had one run through his own hair, tugging at the curls, the other was drifting over his chest and then clenching in the sheets. Alex reached up with his free hand and grabbed Michael’s hand. He brought it to the back of his head.

‘Just put your hand on me already.’ Alex said, his voice a little rough. Michael dug his fingers into Alex’s hair.

‘Okay, yeah, yeah, just holding on to you. That’s good.’ Michael babbled as Alex went back to work. He could feel the muscles of Michael’s thighs tense as Michael’s cock hit the back of his throat. He made sure to relax around it, taking a few deep breaths. ‘Fuck, fucking fuck.’ He trailed the hand not holding onto Michael’s hip down. ‘God fucking dammit.’ Alex slipped his fingers past his balls and a little further back. He wondered if… he brushed his fingers over Michael’s hole. Despite Alex’s hand on his hip, he bucked up and Alex chocked a little as his dick hit the back of Alex’s throat unexpectedly. Alex pulled off and coughed a little. ‘Ah shit, sorry, sorry, sorry.’ Michael babbled, his hand fluttered over Alex’s head, patting him softly.

‘It’s fine.’ Alex tried to reassure him. He kept his hand moving up and down while he gave himself a second. ‘Are you into that?’ He asked. He’d learned a while ago that sometimes, as embarrassing as it felt, it was best to just ask.

‘Choking you? No!’ Michael leaned up on one elbow and stroked his hand past Alex’s cheek. Alex rolled his eyes.

‘Not _that_,’ he pinched Michael’s butt cheek softly. ‘_this_.’

‘Oh.’ He could see the blush rise on Michael’s cheeks. ‘I- uh- I think so, well, I’m not really sure I haven’t really… well…’

‘Done that before?’ Alex asked when it seemed like there wouldn’t be an end to Michael’s stuttering.

‘Y-yeah.’ Michael’s breath hitched again when Alex swiped his thumb over the head.

‘Alright, we’ll figure that out some other time.’ Alex shrugged. He trailed his second had back up Michael’s thigh while the other continued to jack him off. ‘Anything specific you want right now?’

‘I can’t really think while you’re doing that.’ Michael said breathlessly. So Alex figured he’d just continue with what he’d been doing.

‘Alright, be a good boy now.’ Alex took his cock back in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and trying to find his rhythm again. His own dick was still pressing uncomfortably against his jeans, so he unbuttoned his pants and freed his erection from it’s confines. That was better. He went back to trying to make Michael squirm as much as possible. He dragged his tongue along the vein on the underside of Michael’s dick. Michael’s fingers slid back into his hair, tightening just slightly around the strands whenever Alex was at his lowest.

It didn’t take very long for Michael to start babbling again. He seemed to do that when he got overwhelmed.

‘Alex, Alex, _Alex_.’ It was like he was chanting his name, like some kind of prayer. ‘I’m close.’ Alex responded by doubling his efforts and dropping one hand down to his own dick. He’d ignored his own body screaming at him, in favour of making Michael feel good, but now that he was touching himself, he could feel his orgasm approaching fast. ‘I’m gonna-‘ Michael managed and Alex pulled off just before Michael shuddered and shot streaks of white over his own chest. Alex stroked him through it, letting go when it seemed like too much. ‘C’mere.’ Michael muttered from where he was, seemingly boneless, on the bed. Alex kicked his jeans and underwear off before joining Michael on the bed. His knees protested as he got up, another stupid reminder he wasn’t a teenager anymore.

Michael looked gorgeous. Splayed out on Alex’s dark green sheets, he looked like he was made of gold. Blissed out and content. He tugged Alex’s hand away from his still hard dick and replaced it with his own. Those slim, talented hands on him felt about fifteen times better than his own hand ever could. He bend over to kiss Michael, because he could. When Michael tightened his grip, twisted just right and bit Alex’s lower lip, his orgasm punched through him like a damn freight train.

He dropped himself next to Michael, slowly letting himself drift down from whatever cloud Michael had launched him on. He was pretty sure a hand job had never made him come that hard before.

‘Shit that was good.’ Michael said into the silence of the bedroom.

‘Yeah.’ Alex agreed. ‘Really good.’

‘When are we going on our second date?’ Michael asked and when Alex turned his head to look at him, Michael was grinning. Alex laughed.

‘You’ve still got cum drying on your chest and you’re already thinking about a second date.’ Alex folded his hands behind his head and stretched his torso for a second, his back cracked and he felt even more relaxed than he did before. Michael’s cheeks went pink again. ‘I can get us a towel.’ Alex offered. Michael pushed himself up on his elbows.

‘No it’s fine, I can get one. Just point me in the right direction.’

‘Alright, bathroom is through there, just grab one from the left cabinet.’ Alex didn’t really mind staying on the bed and watching Michael walk away. He was still completely naked and it gave Alex a quite spectacular view of his ass and his back. When Michael reappeared with a towel, Alex shamelessly stared at him until he was back on the bed.

‘Like what you see?’ Michael smirked.

‘I thought I’d made that pretty clear already?’ Alex asked as Michael made a face as he wiped the cum off his chest. When he was done he tossed the towel at Alex’s face. He made an insulted noise.

‘Fucking asshole.’ Alex tried to hit him with the towel, but Michael rolled out of the way before he could. Alex sighed but cleaned himself up, he tossed the towel in the direction of the laundry basket. When his weapon was out of his hands, Michael crawled closer again. He traced his hand down over Alex’s chest.

‘I didn’t noticed this before.’ Alex didn’t have to look down to know what Michael was looking at.

‘Shrapnel.’ He explained as Michael traced his fingers over the scar low on Alex’s stomach. ‘It caught me right under my body armour.’ Michael made a noise of understanding. He stayed quiet for a while. Alex wasn’t sure what to say, he didn’t really want to dive further into his army days quite yet.

‘Do you want me to leave?’ Michael asked, and his tone caused Alex to lift his head from where he’d been staring at the ceiling. Michael looked scared.

‘No.’ Alex said immediately. ‘But, my shift starts at eight tomorrow, my alarm goes off at six. If you have any ideas of sleeping in, you might want to sleep in your own bed.’ Alex would have loved to keep Michael there the whole night, maybe get to some lazy morning orgasms, but he was going to the gym with Jenna tomorrow morning, and she’d skin him alive if he blew her off. Michael made a face.

‘Eh, they got me on the afternoon shift tomorrow. I was actually planning on sleeping in.’

‘You’ve been working so hard for this last week, you should. Go home, we’ll do a proper sleepover the next time.’ Alex said with a smirk. Michael laughed.

‘Alright yeah, we just don’t know when that will be.’

‘Yet.’ Alex made sure to stress.

‘Yet.’ Michael agreed. ‘Alright, I’ve got to move now, otherwise I’m falling asleep. Your bed is really comfortable.’

‘I know. That’s why I bought it.’ Alex said with another grin. Michael groaned and rolled himself off the bed.

‘Yeah, yeah, now, where are my clothes?’

It took them a few minutes to find Michael’s clothes that had been flung around Alex’s apartment, but in the end, Michael ended up fully dressed at Alex’s door. Alex had put on some sweatpants, in case a neighbour happened to walk bye.

‘Alright.’ Alex said, leaning against the doorway. ‘We’ll text, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Michael agreed. Alex reached out, grabbed the front of Michael’s jacket and pulled him in for a slow, lazy kiss goodbye. Michael blinked slowly when they pulled back.

‘Bye.’

‘Bye.’ Michael said with a warm smile before he started heading down the hall. Alex closed the door once Michael was out of sight. He locked it and thumped his head into the wood.

‘Shit.’ He liked Michael way more than was reasonable after one date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, there we go.  
I've got two more (more angsty) chapters planned. One where Alex comes to Michael after a really bad call and one where either Michael has to save Alex, or the other way around. If there's anything you guys would like to read, let me know in the comments or on my Tumblr! (Daffietjuh)
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	3. Chapter 3: The Fifth Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their fifth date comes around, and Alex is late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this one is sad af. They discuss a very bad call Alex went on, they talk about why Michael went into medicine and Alex talks about his father. Lot's of talking about sad things.

Michael would have been lying if he said he didn’t remember that this was their fifth date. The one they’d been hanging all of their questions about the darker stuff on. Michael wasn’t sure if he was excited or terrified. There were things he was curious about, but had been afraid to ask. He wasn’t even sure if Alex was aware of the whole thing. Maybe he was just expecting them to hang out, get to some sexy times and watch a movie, maybe Michael was completely overthinking this.

Shit.

He really wanted things to work out with Alex. He was amazing. Funny and brave and kind and the sex was _epic_. Seriously, he didn’t think he’d ever had sex this intense, toe-curling and amazing.

They’d decided to meet at Michael’s place after Alex’s shift was done. It ended an hour ago, Michael had been counting down the hours like a sad, lonely wife whose husband was at sea. It was a little unsettling. Alex hadn’t texted him yet. He usually did right when his shift ended. The only thing Michael could think off that wouldn’t allow him to do that (besides his mind’s fantastically helpful “maybe he’s dead in a ditch somewhere”) was if they’d been called out and weren’t back yet.

Michael wasn’t sitting on his couch, pretending to watch the movie on TV while his eyes darted from his phone to the door. He wasn’t.

He was also pretty good at lying to himself.

After another thirty minutes went by, he was starting to get really worried. He hadn’t texted Alex, the last thing he wanted to do was make him feel guilty for having to work late. Michael knew how shit like that went in emergency services. He was ninety five percent sure Alex wouldn’t have forgotten their date, Alex had even messaged him that morning that he was looking forward to seeing him in person again.

He may have banged his shin into the coffee table when there was a knock at the door.

‘_Ow_, fuck, fucking fuck.’ Michael hissed, but he got up anyways. His shin throbbed, the pain radiating outwards as he headed for the door. He opened it to find Alex on his doorstep. His first reaction was relief, but when he took a closer look at Alex it was replaced by pure dread.

Alex looked wrecked. Not in the good way. In the bad way. In the very bad way that Michael recognized from the faces of trauma surgeons who had patients die right under their hands.

‘Sorry I’m late.’ Alex sounded like he’d been crying, screaming. His voice was rough and the quiver of his bottom lip broke Michael’s heart right in two.

‘It’s okay.’ Michael said, stepping aside to let Alex in. His shoulders were hunched, like he was trying to protect himself from something. Michael closed the door behind him and locked it. ‘Can I get you some water?’ Alex nodded. ‘Go sit down.’ Alex moved through the apartment like a zombie. Michael wasn’t sure he was registering anything that was going on right now. If he wouldn’t have been able to see the steady rise and fall of Alex’s chest, he’d been worried.

Michael hurried to get a glass of water, he didn’t want to leave Alex alone for long. He’d bought beers, but that didn’t seem like a good idea whatsoever. He was half convinced Alex would have disappeared by the time he came back. He hadn’t. He was sitting on the edge of Michael’s couch, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. Michael forced himself to move towards him. He set the glass down and the sound made Alex startle. He looked up at Michael with those big, warm, soft brown eyes filled with all of these emotions Michael couldn’t even name. Michael sat down next to him. He didn’t want to ask. He wasn’t sure _how_ to ask. The TV was still playing the random comedy Michael had been pretending to watch. The contrast with the feeling of anxiety was so ridiculous, Michael was sure he’d hate this movie for the rest of his life.

‘We had to debrief, and then my phone was dead.’ Alex said into the tense air. ‘It was a bad call, really bad.’ He still wasn’t looking at Michael, but that was okay.

‘Do you want to tell me about it?’ Michael asked. Alex had to think about that for a minute.

‘Not yet.’

‘Okay. Tell me what you need, please?’ Michael felt completely out of his depth. He’d had training on how to deal with people in distress, the family of critically injured people, the loved ones of a patient they couldn’t save, but no one ever prepared him for seeing someone you love in distress like that.

‘Talk.’ Alex said. Michael didn’t give himself time to freak out over his brain going straight for the L-word.

‘You really missed something today at the hospital. I was over at the ER, there was another teenage wannabe skateboarder that broke his arm, and while I was waiting for the x-rays, they brought in this forty something year old guy. He was clearly high as a kite. He smelled of pot and booze and he looked like a mess, he’d fallen over, hit his head and he needed some stitches. He spend every single second of his time in the ER singing Queen songs, completely off key, honestly he was all over the place. We weren’t supposed to laugh, because, you know there could be actually sick people there that need some peace and quiet, but dear god it was _so_ _funny_.’ The watery little laugh he got out of Alex was more than he’d hoped for.

‘That should be an arrestable offence.’

‘I know right!’ Michael agreed immediately. ‘And then Kyle and I got into this massive discussion over what the best Queen song is. I was saying it’s obviously We Will Rock You, but then Kyle was all like “Bohemian Rhapsody is the greatest song of all time, _obviously_ it’s the best Queen song” and then I was like “Bohemian Rhapsody isn’t a _song_, it’s an experience, that one doesn’t count” and Kyle got _super_ pissed about that.’ Michael noticed Alex was looking a little more _there_. ‘And then Maria comes in, and she’s like “you’re both wrong, the best Queen song is obviously Under Pressure” which pretty much started a riot and now there’s a poll going through the entire hospital about what the greatest Queen song of all time is and Kyle is literally _campaigning_.’ Alex smiled, still a little wobbly, but with fond exasperation. Michael fell silent.

‘A kid died today.’ They were just four little words, but they felt more like gunshots. Alex was staring at his glass so hard Michael was afraid it would break. ‘We were called to a car crash. Three people trapped in a car. You should have seen the car, it was in _pieces_. The guy that crashed into them was absolutely hammered, he’d been going double the speed limit, collided with this family head-on and walked away with barely a scratch on him.’ Michael didn’t have to listen closely to hear the bitterness in Alex’s voice. ‘The dad died on impact, he broke his neck. The mom was still alive, but she was hurt pretty bad, the car was trapping her. She couldn’t really speak and we could barely see into the back seat because of how the car ended up. It took us about five minutes to realize there were _three_ people in the car. That moment when you realize there’s a kid in there, but you can’t hear it crying, it’s like your blood turns to ice.’ Alex visibly shivered as he recounted the moment. Michael wasn’t sure if touching him was okay right now. So he made sure to telegraph his movements as he reached for Alex’s hand. Alex didn’t move away, so Michael tangled their hands together.

‘What happened next?’ Michael asked. He didn’t want to know. But he also knew sharing the weight of what Alex had been through, might ease the pain a little.

‘We managed to get Jenna into the backseat. She was the smallest and slimmest there and we hoped she could do something, anything.’ Michael could feel the desperation radiating off Alex. ‘The kid was about nine. He’d been asleep in the back, he only had his belt around his waist and he’d been laying down. He’d basically been thrown forward, half pulled from his seatbelt, and went head first into the back of the driver’s seat. The moment I saw Jenna’s face in that backseat I knew it was bad. We tried to help him, but the paramedics couldn’t get in there and he was barely alive. He stopped breathing and we couldn’t get him back.’

‘Shit Alex.’ Michael said softly. He hadn’t even been there and he could feel the tears prickle behind his eyes.

‘I wanted to rip that guy to shreds with my bare hands.’ Alex said and his tone was so cold and the fury underneath it burned so hot, it was almost scary. It was a firm reminder that Alex had been a soldier. He’d been in the Air Force for years. Alex looked at him for maybe the first time since he’d walked in the door. There was a cold sort of almost-smile on his face. Something hard and angry and dangerous. Alex looked at him like he was searching for something. ‘Aren’t you scared of me?’

Michael took a quick inventory of his feelings. Was he scared of Alex?

He felt sad, there was that nagging pain behind his breastbone he got whenever he felt like the world was a shitty place and there was nothing he could do to change it. He felt scared, but not scared that Alex would hurt him. He was more scared of Alex doing something he’d regret.

‘No.’

‘Why not?’ Alex pushed. ‘I would have killed him. If Isobel hadn’t been there, I would have killed him, I wouldn’t even have lost any sleep over it.’

‘I don’t believe that.’ Michael said firmly. ‘I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to kill anyone, not really, I took an oath and I take that seriously, but this guy destroyed an entire family. For what? Because he didn’t feel like calling a cab? Because he figured he was fine to drive? You saw a child die today, Alex. I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to be angry and upset.’ Alex didn’t look like he believed him. ‘You’re a good man, Alex.’

‘You know, I went into the Air Force wanting to learn how to fight and win, I came out wanting to learn how to save and not destroy.’ Alex said, he was staring at something over Michael’s shoulder. ‘I guess I still haven’t learned that.’ Michael frowned, he squeezed Alex’s hand tighter.

‘Hey, you are already saving lives, every time you go out on a call.’ He tugged on Alex’s hand, trying to get him to look him in the eyes. ‘I know you probably don’t feel like it right now, but you do _so_ _much_ good, you help so many people. I’ve been told these things never get easy, I don’t even think we should want them to, but one terrible call doesn’t define what you are.’ Alex sighed, bone-deep and drained.

‘I don’t know.’ He said and when he looked at Michael, he could read the exhaustion all over Alex’s face. It was barely nine, but Michael felt emotionally tired too.

‘Let’s go to bed.’ The relief on Alex’s face made Michael want to cry.

They didn’t say much, moving around the bathroom and bedroom as they got ready. Michael didn’t think any of their normal banter would land right now. Maybe the comfortable silence was exactly what Alex needed. Maybe he should have been talking. Maybe he should have asked more questions. He didn’t know.

But what he did know was that Alex curling up against his chest, blanket tucked up under his chin and closing his eyes like he was just trying to drown out the noise in his own head was as painful as it was comforting. Alex had come to him, even after the day he’d had. Alex had come to him in extreme emotional distress. He had trusted Michael to see him like this and handle it. Maybe he’d been expecting Michael to be disturbed by the murderous attitude, but he’d still told him. That had to mean something good, right?

He stared at the ceiling for a while, listening to Alex breathe. The darkness in the room was somewhat comforting.

‘Why did you choose medicine?’ Alex’s voice startled him, even though it was barely a whisper. He could feel the puffs of air of Alex’s words brush along his chest. Michael cleared his throat.

‘I wanted to help people. I was smart, I was good with biology and chemistry and physics.’ Michael hesitated before continuing. ‘And someone I loved got sick. Really sick.’ Alex not being able to see his face made this easier. Alex didn’t ask, but the question was there anyways. ‘I grew up in the foster system. I went through _a lot_ of bad ones, and then when I was fourteen, I ended up with Rose.’ Michael swallowed, trying to get the lump of emotions out of his throat. ‘She was this super sweet lady, late fifties, just the warmest, kindest person you’ll ever meet. She took me in and she was the first foster parent not to treat me like I was just there so they could cash the cheque at the end of the month. The first one to treat me like a person, ask me what I liked, what I needed. She was a delight.’ Michael could feel Alex smile.

‘She sounds amazing.’

‘She was. I’d been staying with her for six months, the best six months of my life, and the longest I’d ever stayed in a foster home, when she started coughing. It seemed like just a cold at first. She convinced me she was fine, that it would pass, but it only got worse. When I’d finally convinced her to go to a doctor, we were two months down the line.’ Michael took a deep breath. ‘Stage four lung cancer. There was nothing they could do. They told us she had a year at most. Child Services tried to remove me from her home, because “she was ill and she wouldn’t be able to provide me the proper care anymore”. I don’t think I’ve ever been as angry as I was that day. They didn’t care when all those other foster parents treated me like shit, and now they wanted to take me away from the _one_ person that cared about me?’ He could feel all of those old emotions bubble up to the surface again. ‘I remember thinking it was all so unfair.’

‘Life is pretty unfair.’ Alex said, his fingers had started tracing a pattern Michael didn’t recognize over his ribs.

‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘How long were you allowed to stay with her?’ Alex asked.

‘Until she had to be hospitalized. I still visited her every day, until she-‘ Michael stopped before he could say the words. Fuck, why was he on the verge of tears? It had been over a decade. He had only known Rose for fourteen months. ‘until she died.’ He forced the words out.

‘I’m sorry.’ Alex said, but there wasn’t really any pity in it. It was more of a sense of “I get it”, “I’m sorry you had to go through that”, but not “oh you poor thing”. ‘So you saw the most important woman in your life get killed by an illness you couldn’t cure, and you decided to become a doctor? That’s pretty cool.’ Alex said, and there was something about that that made Michael feel warm. Maybe it was Alex’s immediate (and correct) assumption Rose had been the most important woman in his life.

‘Well, now that that’s out of the way. What about you, any tear jerking stories about why you joined the army?’ Michael went for flippant, he was trying to lighten the mood. Alex had mentioned before that his father and brothers had all enlisted, so he had as well.

Alex, however, tensed and something he’d said earlier made its way back to the front of Michael’s mind: “I went into the Air Force wanting to learn how to fight and win”. Alex was quiet for so long, Michael honestly thought he’d just ignore the question. Michael would have made some comment, taken the question out of the air, but they were already this deep into Emotional Territory, he might as well.

‘That bad?’ He asked, and Alex sighed.

‘My dad used to beat the crap out of me. I enlisted because I was tired of losing, I wanted to learn how to win and I wanted to prove I wasn’t weak. That I could fight and survive.’

‘Jesus fucking Christ, Alex.’ Michael said after a short stunned silence. He wanted to apologize. He figured there was something there, just not something like _that_. Fuck, the guy had already had the worst possible day, and now Michael had to go and drag up old memories like that. ‘You didn’t have to answer that. You could have told me to go fuck myself.’ Alex sighed.

‘I know, I thought about it.’ He said, shifting to snuggle closer to Michael. ‘I’m just tired of always keeping everything a secret from the people closest to me. It was not my fault, and I shouldn’t be ashamed of it.’

‘Of course it wasn’t your fault. Your father is a fucking monster.’ Michael said with a little more heat than he’d planned. ‘Anyone who thinks it okay to hit their kids can go die in a well.’

‘I thought you’d never wanted to kill anyone?’ There was an undertone of teasing there, something so familiar and welcome it made Michael want to cry.

‘Well, I didn’t say I wanted to _kill_ him. I just said if he happened to fall into a well head first, I wouldn’t be all that upset about it.’ He let himself soak in Alex’s soft laugh for a few seconds.

‘Thank you.’ Michael turned his head to try and look at Alex.

‘For what?’

‘For listening to me, dealing with me.’

‘You being upset is not something that I have to “deal with”, I care about you Alex. If you’re hurting, I want to help you.’ Michael said, tightening his arm around Alex. Alex stayed quiet for a few seconds.

‘I don’t really know how to do that.’ Alex said. ‘Let someone help me.’

‘You’re doing pretty good.’ Michael said and Alex huffed out a laugh. ‘Let’s just get some sleep.’ Michael suggested.

‘Yeah, let’s.’

He wasn’t expecting that would be _it_. Things like what Alex had gone through weren’t just done after one conversation, but Michael hadn’t really been expecting to wake up in the middle of the night because of an elbow hitting him squarely in the solar plexus.

He hadn’t expected Alex to have tears streaming down his face as he scrambled from the bed.

He hadn’t expected the shaky inhales of Alex’s ragged breathing.

He hadn’t expected to need to talk him down from a panic attack at 3am.

He hadn’t expected Alex _sobbing_ onto his shoulder until 4am until he had no more tears left.

He hadn’t expected to hear “when I left the middle east I thought I’d never have to see children die again” over and over and over.

He hadn’t expected to be crying right alongside Alex.

But Michael had to take it all in stride. He said he’d be there for Alex, and he didn’t take promises like that lightly. When the time came, he knew Alex would be there for him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, the last chapter I have planned is one where I think Michael will end up in trouble and Alex will come save him! All with a happy ending of course, because I always write happy endings. 
> 
> If there's anything else you'd like to see in this verse, just tell me in the comments or on Tumblr!
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	4. Chapter 4: The Scare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Fire department, call out!’ Jenna yelled into the space. He knew she could feel this was Michael’s place. 
> 
> It was incredibly unsettling to see the place he’d come to see like a second home all smoky and empty like this. Except it wasn’t empty. Alex went left towards the couch and he immediately spotted a body on the floor. He’d recognize those curls anywhere. No. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! I'm not sure if I love this or hate this, but it's here.   
For now, this seems to be the final part of this, if I get inspired I might add another chapter at some point.   
But for now, thanks for all your support on this wonderful little adventure!

‘How has your first week back been?’ Alex asked, kicking at the back of Max’s chair to get his attention. Max made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat, but he still turned around.

‘Goddammit Manes, use your words.’

‘I did.’ Alex said, just to be annoying. Max narrowed his eyes at him.

‘It’s been good. My wrist has held out just fine.’ He said before turning back to his magazine. Alex sighed. So much for a fun conversation.

He could take a nap. It was heading towards eleven o’clock, he was on shift until seven am, he’d have to get some sleep at some point. He was just considering maybe just dozing on the couch for a bit when the alarm went off. Both him and Max were out of their seats immediately, any thought of sleep forgotten.

‘_Truck 41, Squad 12, fire in an apartment complex in-‘ _Alex shot into his gear. A fire in an apartment complex could range anywhere from “oops I burned some popcorn” to devastating. Until they knew which one it was, they would prepare for the worst case scenario.

‘Alright, let’s go!’ Alex called as the others from his unit jumped into the truck. Jenna hopped into the driver’s seat. She started the engine and hit the lights and sirens as they headed out.

They were out of there before Squad, but Alex could hear their sirens behind them as they sped through the city. It wasn’t until they entered the neighbourhood that Alex registered the address that had been called. Alex asked Jenna to confirm the address, when she did, it was like someone had slammed their hand through his breastbone and grabbed his heart with icy cold fingers.

‘What?’ Jenna asked, glancing at him a few times as she tried to manoeuvre around a big ass SUV. ‘Alex what is it?’ She pressed.

‘Michael lives in that building.’ Alex managed. Jenna’s knuckles went white as she gripped the wheel tighter and pushed the gas peddle down further.

‘Shit.’

‘Maybe it’s not that bad.’ Justin offered, but he sounded uncertain about it.

He could feel it in the air though. He could feel it in his team. They all knew, this was going to be bad. He was glad no one told him he should stay back because he was too involved, he would have ripped their tongues from their mouths if they tried that. If there was one thing he’d learned in his time in the Air Force, it was how to compartmentalize.

He shoved the part that feared for Michael’s life behind a door and closed it with a resounding slam. Too bad it burst right back open when they turned the final corner and they could see the building.

It was _bad_. The fire already had almost the entire left side of the building in a firm grip, the flames licking around the outside. Jenna pulled the truck to a stop with a curse.

‘Fucking hell.’ Isobel said.

The moment Alex opened the door he could feel the heat of the fire. Squad pulled up next to them.

‘Manes, are you good?’ Max asked as he hopped from the truck. Alex wasn’t sure what to say to that. Jenna had already started to move some of the onlookers back with Justin. It seemed like quite a few of the residents had already evacuated.

‘His boyfriend lives here.’ Isobel said.

‘Get ready to sweep.’ Alex ordered. Isobel disappeared off with a firm nod.

‘Wait, Michael lives here?’ Alex hadn’t expected Max to sound so panicked about that. ‘Liz was going to hang out with him tonight. At his place.’

Fuck. Now there wasn’t just the chance that Michael was in there, there was the chance Liz was in there too? This was just going from bad, right to disastrous.

‘_Alright_!’ Alex called out. Shake it off. Focus. Their firefighters all surrounded them as Alex accepted the oxygen tank Isobel offered him. ‘Hunter, Raisman, Tablot and Jones, take the first floor, evacuate everyone. ‘Kim, Walters, Young and Mason, take the second floor. The Evanses and Cameron, you’re with me on the third.’ He managed to snag Max’s arm before he went running. He made sure to keep walking towards the building, but kept Max right next to him. ‘Evans. I need you to keep your cool.’

‘She might be in there.’ Max snapped at him, pulling at his arm to try and get loose. Alex’s grip was stronger.

‘She might not be.’ He said pulling him to a stop. The heat on his face was nearly overwhelming here. ‘You getting yourself killed isn’t going to help anyone.’

He really hoped Max got the message as he put on his mask and helmet and motioned for Isobel and Jenna to follow him into the building. The others had already spread out over the lower floors so Alex lead his little team straight to the stairs and up.

‘Alright. Izzy, Max, sweep the right side first, then join me and Jen on the left.’

‘_No_.’ Max sneered at him. ‘I’m going left with you, that’s where Michael lives right? You know that she might be there and you won’t let me go that way.’

‘_Enough_.’ Alex said, pulling on every last bit of Air Force-taught authority he had in him. ‘You’re clearly not thinking straight. You’re lucky I’m not having her drag you out of here by your hair. _Go_. _Right_.’ Alex ordered. He was sure Max would argue with him. Disagreements between them were always explosive, but now was not the time. Isobel agreed.

‘Max, let’s just go. Arguing is only going to delay things.’ She tugged on his arm.

‘If you don’t save her…’ Max let his sentence trail off, but Alex got the idea of it.

‘Go.’ He said firmly before heading into the left hallway with Jenna. She looked at him from the corner of her eyes. They would head as far as they could go first. Jenna was banging on every door they passed, shouting that they had to evacuate. If someone was asleep, maybe this would jolt them awake. The smoke was thick and Alex could feel the panic thumping against the door he’d locked it behind. He counted the apartments, they passed Michael’s, but they could still go further, so he forced himself to keep walking. He did allow himself to look back at the door to see if there was anyone poking their head out. There wasn’t.

Alex kicked in the door of the final apartment they could reach. There was, by his calculations, two apartments that were so engulfed by the flames, they couldn’t even entertain the idea of going in there.

‘Fire department, call out!’ Alex yelled into the smoke invested space. They did a sweep of the place, but it appeared empty. They checked quickly, but thoroughly. Alex made sure to swipe his arm under any beds to make sure no one was hiding there. His heart was pounding, but he refused to let it get to him. He knew why it was jumping in his chest now, when normally he was cool as a cucumber. He also refused to acknowledge that now. The next apartment was also empty. They arrived at Michael’s. He forced himself to take a deep breath before kicking the door in. He let Jenna in first.

‘Fire department, call out!’ Jenna yelled into the space. He knew she could feel this was Michael’s place.

It was incredibly unsettling to see the place he’d come to see like a second home all smoky and empty like this. Except it wasn’t empty. Alex went left towards the couch and he immediately spotted a body on the floor. He’d recognize those curls anywhere. No. Not again.

‘_Jenna_! I found him.’ He yelled, his voice cracked as his panic was now kicking and screaming at the door he was still trapping it behind.

‘I’ve got another one!’ She called back as Alex knelt next to Michael. He looked like he’d been asleep on the couch and by the time he’d realized what was happening, he’d been too late to get out. How long had he been laying here? His hands were shaking as he pulled off his gloves to check for a pulse. It took him a few seconds, but he found a steady, if not a little weak pulse under his fingers.

Alright, time to move.

‘Michael?’ Alex pressed, rolling him over and grabbing his wrist. He slung Michael’s arm around his neck. This would be so much easier if Michael could help him along. ‘_Michael_.’ Alex tried again. There was no response. Fine. Then he’d do this the hard way. He lowered his weight and pulled Michael onto his shoulders. He’d carried him before, it had been in a completely different scenario, but it wasn’t new.

‘Alex?’ Jenna came from what Alex knew was the bedroom, Liz was awake enough to help Jenna out, even though she looked barely there. ‘Alright.’ Jenna activated her radio. ‘This is Manes and Cameron, we’re coming out with two civilians, one non-responsive.’

‘Let’s go.’ Was the only thing Alex said before starting to head out of the building as fast as he safely could. The way down the stairs had his stomach lurch more than once as he would wobble and nearly lose his balance. He could feel the anxiety ramp up as Michael went longer and longer without responding.

When they broke through the last of the smoke and out into the clean air, there were paramedics waiting for them with a stretcher.

Alex lowered Michael onto the stretcher immediately. He yanked his helmet and mask off.

‘Michael Guerin, twenty eight, found unresponsive, but has a pulse.’ He said and the paramedics rushed him away immediately. The urge to run after them was so strong Alex actually took a step forward. He stopped. There were more apartments to clear.

‘Right side- third floor clear.’ Isobel’s voice crackled over the radio. He needed to go help them sweep the rest of the left side. There could be more people in there.

So Alex located Jenna and they headed back in.

It wasn’t until they’d cleared the whole building and two other units were trying to contain the fire, that Alex cracked. He had just taken off his helmet and he was putting his tank back in the truck when the realization of what just happened punched him in the chest. His carefully crafted door was broken down and he remembered sliding down the side of the truck, grabbing at his chest.

He didn’t remember what happened next.

‘Alex? _Alex_?’ Jenna’s voice was the next thing he really registered.

‘I can’t do this.’ He managed through shaking breaths. Oh, that weird noise was him.

‘You need to breathe.’ Jenna said, squeezing his hands. Oh, she was holding his hands.

‘I can’t lose someone else.’

‘Last we heard he was still alive Alex, come on, you have to breathe.’ Jenna said a little more firmly. Last they heard. Last they _heard_. What the fuck was he supposed to do with that?

‘Where is he?’

‘They took him to the hospital.’ Jenna said. ‘Come on. If you breathe, we can drive you there.’

Alright. If breathing was what it took to get to Michael, he could do that. He realized he’d been taught a tactic for this. Five things he could see. He ran himself through the exercise. If he focussed he could get to Michael. Get to Michael. Michael. When Jenna allowed him to get to his feet he just yanked the door of the truck open and slammed it shut behind him.

The ride back in the direction of the Station, with a small detour to get Alex to the hospital was a silent one. He could feel Justin wanted to say something, but didn’t. Alex knew his jaw was clenched much too tight and he knew his knuckles where white and his nails were digging into his palms, but he didn’t care. In fact, he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t have cared less if he _tried_. He could do a little suffering, as long as Michael was okay in the end.

They let him out at the hospital with an order to text them updates. He promised he would. When he could hear the truck pull away behind him, he ignored the curious glances of the people around and headed inside. He realized he must have looked like a mess the second he stepped inside. The nurse at the ER station looked up at him and then did a double take.

‘Sir, are you alright?’ She asked, stepping around the desk. Alex cleared his throat.

‘Yes, I’m fine. There was a man brought in, Michael Guerin, we pulled him from a burning building, can you tell me how he is, where he is?’ He tried to come off like he hadn’t had a full blown panic attack less than thirty minutes ago. She nodded slowly and went over to the computer.

‘Did you get him out of the fire?’ Alex nodded, he didn’t trust his voice right now. ‘Are you family?’

‘He’s my boyfriend.’ He managed. Her eyes widened and her face melted into something _sympathetic _that made Alex feel sick. ‘Also, there’s a woman, Elizabeth Ortecho, can you just tell me if she’s okay?’ The nurse typed some more into her computer.

‘Yes, doctor Ortecho is being treated for smoke inhalation, but she is otherwise fine. As for doctor Guerin, well I can do you one better.’ She said, motioning him along. She lead him to one of the bays and held aside the curtain. There, on the bed, eyes open, was Michael.

‘Alex.’ It was perfectly clear what Michael said, even as it was muffled by the oxygen mask over his face.

‘Michael.’ Was all Alex manged before he was stumbling forward and half falling into the chair next to the bed. He took Michael’s hand in his, his fingers sought out Michael’s wrist, settling where he could feel the steady and much stronger thump-thump of Michael’s heartbeat.

He didn’t realize he was crying until Michael wiped some tears off his cheeks. His breath stuttered on the inhale and Michael smiled softly at him. Michael moved the mask down to around his neck.

‘I’m okay.’ He tried to assure Alex. ‘I’m okay.’

‘Put that back on.’ Alex ordered, reaching for the mask and putting it back over Michael’s nose. Michael rolled his eyes but left it there.

They just sat there for a while. Alex feeling Michael’s heartbeat under his fingertips and hearing his steady breathing with his own ears. His tears dried up at some point. His phone buzzed where he’d put it in his pocket, but he ignored it. Nothing could be more important than this.

‘You scared the hell out of me.’ Alex said after what felt like hours. ‘I saw you laying there on the floor and I honestly thought that I’d lost you. That I’d lost another loved one.’ Michael perked up and lowered his mask again.

‘You love me?’ His face however, did an immediate one eighty from happy to confused. ‘Wait, _another_ loved one?’ Alex hadn’t even realized he’d said that.

‘I had someone, when I was in the Air Force. Someone I really cared about, and he died.’ It was the shortest possible version of that story he could tell. He wasn’t emotionally ready to expand on it right now, and Michael seemed to realize that, because the only question he asked was:

‘What was his name?’

‘Forest.’ Alex said and Michael nodded.

‘I’m sorry for scaring you.’ Michael swiped his thumb over Alex’s knuckles. ‘The paramedics said you carried me from the building?’ Alex nodded.

‘You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t start the fire. I’m just glad you’re okay.’

‘Well, I should apologize for the five doughnuts I ate yesterday.’ Michael said with an exaggerated flinch. ‘You had to carry all of that down three flights of stairs.’ Alex felt like both laughing and crying. So he just huffed out a laugh and pushed himself up enough so that he could kiss Michael’s forehead.

‘You’re an idiot.’ He said fondly.

‘But you love me.’

‘Yeah, I love you.’ Even with the soot stains still on his face, his curls a little more ashy than normal and hooked up to several machines, Michael was still the most beautiful thing Alex had ever seen when he grinned like that.

‘I love you too. My hero.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me squeal with delight!


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